By Kiera Scanlan Wespestad

A few weeks ago, we had the honor of leading a large funeral procession that briefly brought Route 23 to a standstill.

For about 15 minutes, traffic paused while a family escorted their loved one back to the family home for a final celebration. Some drivers waited patiently. Others undoubtedly wondered why they couldn't simply get around us.

Which honestly, coming from our viewpoint, is maddening, though understandable.

When you're behind the wheel, your world feels very important. You're running behind in your schedule and have your own life to live.

But when a funeral procession is passing, your story intersects with someone else's.

Funeral processions have existed for thousands of years. Long before cars, communities walked together as they accompanied a loved one to their final resting place. Beyond transporting a body, this procession was a public acknowledgment that a life mattered.

That hasn't changed.

Every car with its hazards flashing represents someone who loved the person ahead of them: a spouse facing tomorrow alone, a granddaughter trying not to cry, a lifelong friend remembering conversations they'll never have again. Inside those cars, time has stopped, even while the rest of the world moves on.

One of my favorite pieces of writing is David Foster Wallace's “This Is Water.” In it, he reminds us that the people slowing us down are almost certainly living stories we know nothing about. A funeral procession makes that invisible story visible.

So the next time you find yourself waiting behind a line of flashing lights, remember that a funeral procession asks something very small of us: a little patience.

One day, each of us may find ourselves in one of those cars, escorting a loved one to their final resting place.

When that day comes, we'll remember everyone that waited. We’ll remember that, in the middle of an ordinary day, strangers quietly acknowledged that a life had been lived, and that it mattered.

Kiera Scanlan Wespestad is president and director of Scanlan’s, Pompton Plains, NJ.

Making coffins in a city struck by Ebola is big business. A funeral home once owned by a man accused of stealing money from families seeking to have their pets cremated is vandalized. And a U.S. Air Force mortuary affairs unit is practicing embalming and body preparation in the field. These stories and more are in the week in funeral news.

NEWS

The Business of Coffin Making in a City Ravaged by Ebola
By Matthew Mpoke Bigg (The New York Times)
Amid a cloud of sawdust and the whine of a buzz saw, Djo Limayo, a carpenter in the Democratic Republic of Congo, was at work building another coffin. Business has been strong for Mr. Limayo since an Ebola outbreak hit the city of Bunia in May. More than a dozen carpentry workshops line the streets. All of them appear to be focused on coffin making. Read more here.

Six Feet Under in Art Coffins That Are Over the Top
By Patricia Leigh Brown (The New York Times)
Posters of the newly deceased are fixtures in public squares throughout the coast of Ghana, their photos bearing headings like “HOME CALL,” “GONE TOO SOON,” “CALL TO GLORY” and–in the case of accidental death–“PAINFUL EXIT.” Read more here.

Funeral Home​ Formerly Owned by Man Accused in Pet Cremation Scandal Vandalized, New Owner Says
By Mamie Bah (CBS News)
A funeral home in Pittsburgh, PA, at the center of a criminal case has been vandalized. The funeral home formerly owned by Patrick Vereb, who is accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from pet owners for pet cremations that were never done, was spray-painted with the message, "My dog loved the trash ... jokes on you," according to the building's new owner. Read more here.

Texas Man in Custody After Setting Fire to Funeral Home Construction Site, Investigators Say
By Avery Maurer and Vanessa Croix (KENS 5)
A San Antonio, TX, man is in custody after trying to set a city funeral home on fire. Cody Engel, 41, has been charged with arson of a place of an assembly after a Mission Park Funeral Home, currently under construction, was set on fire during the early morning hours of August 17, 2026. Read more here.

Mortuary Affairs Demonstrates Expeditionary Mortuary During Exercises
By Staff Sergeant Frank Rohrig (Air Force Mortuary Affairs Operations)
Personnel assigned to Air Force Mortuary Affairs Operations demonstrated the Department of the Air Force’s commitment to operational readiness during military exercises. AFMAO established a simulated expeditionary mortuary environment with several capability-focused workstations, providing participants immersive hands-on training and by deploying the Mobile Embalming Unit, demonstrating an expeditionary mortuary capability in a realistic field environment. Read more here.

Raleigh, NC, Cemetery Buries Someone Else in Family Plot
By Alex Littlehales (WRAL)
A news outlet is asking questions about North Carolina's cemetery oversight after a Wake County family said a stranger's remains were buried in a plot they purchased burial rights for more than a decade ago. Read more here.

The volunteer officers of the New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association for 2026-2027 officially assume their posts on September 1, 2026. On that date, the start of a new governance cycle, the position of President will pass to Samuel C. Arnold from Ryan M. Buckland, who becomes Immediate Past President. 

To introduce both Arnold and Buckland in their new roles, The FORUM asked both officers on the NJSFDA Board of Directors their opinions on several matters facing New Jersey’s funeral directors, from the role of the association to the use of technology in the funeral industry.

Here are their answers:

Samuel C. Arnold

President

• President/Manager, Perry Funeral Home Inc., Newark, and Owner/ Manager, Scillieri-Arnold Funeral Home, Paterson
• Essex, Union and West Hudson Funeral Directors Association
• Garden State Funeral Directors Association
• New Jersey licensed funeral director
• Graduate of Virginia State University and American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Service
• Member of Fountain Baptist Church in Summit
• Spouse: Retha Rose Arnold

As consumer preferences continue to evolve, what can funeral directors do to evaluate and adapt to the changing needs and desires of the families they serve?

While life’s daily routines, joys and successes move in rapid succession, we must also remain mindful of sudden changes that test us. The predictable nature of life can catch us off guard, bringing unwelcome detours and real challenges.

As funeral directors we must be astute and should routinely conduct community focus groups to discuss evolving end-of-life trends and family wishes, share post-service surveys to communicate satisfaction levels and never forget to continually engage in self-assessment.

We must constantly engage in candid course correction reviews with our team to be properly prepared when receiving expected notices of that unwelcomed reality, knowing that death is both inevitable and inescapable for all humanity.

We must, therefore, be ready and willing to address death as a life concern by providing the needed rite of passage for the family seeking ceremonial care for the beloved deceased whose memories and the legacy that will live on through the living.

Moreover, we are currently at a pivotal point in history when funeral directors should offer more consumer-specific changes and preferences relative to the validated and proven impact that technology offers. We should use digital tools such as live-stream services and virtual planning boards for families to select and arrange services online–for an even more respectful tribute or celebration of life.

To personalize the experience for families even more, funeral directors should consider customizing some celebrations of life by designing themed events reflective of the hobbies, the work or the life passions of the decedent. We can also host memorial gatherings in some unusual or non-traditional venue spaces such as community center, park or restaurant, that will honor and celebrate the life of the deceased loved one.

How important is the role of the association in the development and execution of strategies to prepare its members for success in the funeral industry’s changing environment?

Keenly aware of the funeral industry’s changing environment, the association plays a vital role in the development and execution of strategies to prepare its members for success. It is imperative that the association lead and lead well. To use an analogy, members are the foot soldiers, and the association is a well-oiled lead of the regiment.

The association possesses an immeasurable breath of knowledge offering practical answers to any service-related query from its funeral director members. To illustrate, since sustainability is now fundamental in the modern deathcare industry, the association would most probably expand green burial options to provide more eco-friendly plots and biodegradable caskets. Moreover, where permitted by local law, water cremation would likely become a preferred choice for families.

Finally, the association must be a conduit among the Division of Consumer Affairs and the state government, having a working knowledge and continuous working relationship with both entities. The association must continue supporting the organization with webinars, seminars and in person CEUs because the industry is constantly changing.

How can funeral directors balance the use of technology in the funeral home with the need for the personal and human touch needed to assist families during one of the most trying times in their lives?

Balancing the use of technology in the funeral home with the need for personal and human touch needed to assist families during one of the most trying times in their lives is not an easy feat and most assuredly requires a delicate balancing act.

Yes, technology does and can simplify the administrative burden for the grieving family and lessens the time restraints for those using technology in the funeral home. Yet funeral directors must remain ever mindful that compassion, genuine empathy and extended comfort are experienced in the connection established with the care displayed as well as the active listening to the hurting hearts of families during their darkest hours.

Mastering this balance is essential, though difficult, for honoring the families who trust funeral directors with their loved ones.

Time and circumstance may push us to technology. We can still be warm and caring and listen to important facts. Perhaps we should keep in mind that many of those whom we serve are used to screens and used to viewing and writing things from one angle only. The use of technology can make them feel more comfortable, and more in their “zone.”

With other families, they will want the human interaction up close and personal. We must make time in our funeral homes to meet people where they are in ways that are comfortable for them.

Ryan M. Buckland

Immediate Past President

• Founder of Buckland Funeral Home Somerville in 2016
• Middlesex and Somerset County Funeral Directors Association
• Garden State Funeral Directors Association
• New Jersey-licensed funeral director
• Graduate of Mercer County Funeral Service Program
• Senior pastor of Tabernacle Baptist Church New Brunswick, New Jersey
• Spouse: Kye Buckland (Licensed Funeral Director)
• Children: Semaj, Zion, Sanaia and James

As consumer preferences continue to evolve, what can funeral directors do to evaluate and adapt to the changing needs and desires of the families they serve?

The families walking through our doors today are not the families who walked through them twenty years ago. They want different things. They ask different questions. They grieve in public in ways their grandparents never would have. If we are honest with ourselves, the funeral home that simply keeps doing what it has always done is a funeral home slowly writing its own obituary.

When it comes to evaluating and adapting to what families actually want, the first step is listening. I mean real listening, not the kind we do while we are already thinking about the next line in the arrangement conference. Families today are asking for personalization. They want the service to sound like their loved one, not like a template we pulled off a shelf.

They are asking about cremation options, about celebration of life formats, about green burial, about direct disposition paired with a memorial gathering weeks later. These are not fads. They reflect a generation that wants meaning without feeling boxed into a script.

Funeral directors have to build feedback into the process itself. Survey the families you serve. Sit with your community's clergy and hear what they are hearing in the pastoral care conversations. Watch what other providers in your market are doing well and ask why families are choosing them. Track your own numbers over time, not just this quarter's revenue but the shape of what families are actually selecting. The data will tell a story if you are willing to read it honestly.

And pricing transparency belongs in this conversation too. Families are more informed than they have ever been. They compare prices online before they ever call us. A funeral home that hides behind vague websites and unclear itemization is not adapting; it is inviting distrust at the exact moment a family needs to trust us most.

How important is the role of the association in the development and execution of strategies to prepare its members for success in the funeral industry’s changing environment?

I do not think we can overstate how much the association matters here. No single funeral home, no matter how sharp its owner or how gifted its staff, can track every regulatory shift, every consumer trend, every emerging technology on its own. That is what the association is for.

Having served as President of the New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association, I saw firsthand how much strength comes from pooling our knowledge. The association gathers the data none of us could gather alone. It brings continuing education that keeps our license holders sharp and current. It gives us a collective voice when predatory pricing models or bad actors threaten to erode public trust in our whole profession. It creates the room where a young director just starting out can sit across from someone 40 years in the business and actually learn something.

An association that is doing its job does not just react to change; it prepares its members to meet change before it arrives. That means research on shifting demographics and generational attitudes toward death. That means advocacy at the state and federal level so regulation keeps pace with new service models. That means mentorship pipelines so this profession does not lose its institutional memory when its most experienced members retire. The association is not a side benefit to membership. It is the backbone of our collective readiness.

How can funeral directors balance the use of technology in the funeral home with the need for the personal and human touch needed to assist families during one of the most trying times in their lives?

Here is where I want to be careful, because this is where our profession can lose its soul if we are not paying attention. Technology has real gifts to offer us. Livestreaming lets a grandson deployed overseas witness his grandmother's homegoing service in real time. Online obituaries and digital guest books let a wider community express condolences than a single guest book at the funeral home ever could. Video tribute software, digital arrangement conferences, online payment options, all of this makes the logistics of grief a little more bearable for families who are already carrying enough.

But none of it can replace the hand on the shoulder. None of it can replace sitting across the table from a widow at 2:00 a.m. because that is the only time she could bring herself to talk about the service. Death care is, at its core, a ministry of presence. A family does not remember whether your website had a slick online arrangement portal. They remember whether you looked them in the eye and treated their loved one like somebody's grandmother instead of a case number.

The balance is this: Let technology handle what technology is good at, the logistics, the reach, the convenience. But protect what only a human being can give–the empathy, the discernment, the unhurried presence in a room heavy with grief. Technology should extend our care, never substitute for it. The funeral homes that will thrive in this changing landscape are the ones that use every tool available to them while never forgetting that the family in front of them did not come for a tool. They came for us.

George R. Kelder Jr., CFSP

I recently had the opportunity to speak with CBS News about the horrific situation uncovered at a crematory and later funeral home, both owned and operated by the same people in the Chicago, IL, area, where human remains were improperly stored and handled.

What makes the story even more disturbing is that this wasn't simply a case of something going wrong once. Regulators had identified problems before, yet the problems continued.

That should make every one of us in funeral service uncomfortable.

I've spent roughly 40 years in funeral service administration, and I've seen versions of these problems in more than one state. Whenever something this disturbing comes to light, our immediate reaction is understandable: How could this happen? Who failed? Who should have stopped it?

But I think we need to go one step further.

Before we point fingers at one person or one facility, we need to ask whether the regulatory system itself had the authority, resources and oversight necessary to prevent it.

That's an important distinction.

Every regulatory board operates under a statute created by the Legislature. That statute defines what the board can and cannot do. If the Legislature hasn't given a board authority over a particular activity, the board cannot simply create that authority for itself.

You can have a very good regulatory board, staffed by people who genuinely care about protecting the public, but if the law doesn't give that board the authority to act, there is only so much it can do.

And that creates an uncomfortable possibility: The law can sometimes create a situation where a licensed professional is held to a higher standard than someone operating outside the licensing system.

New Jersey should pay attention to that.

We have our own regulatory challenges. Our State Board of Mortuary Science of New Jersey and New Jersey Cemetery Board exist to protect the public, but they don't operate in a vacuum. They operate within statutes, budgets, staffing levels and bureaucratic structures that determine what they can actually accomplish.

And we shouldn't fool ourselves into believing that having a regulatory board automatically means we're adequately regulating the industry.

The regulators in New Jersey may be good at responding to a fire, but they are not nearly as good at maintaining the fire department.

When a scandal makes the evening news, everyone pays attention. Investigators are dispatched. Politicians demand answers. Regulators promise action. Suddenly, everyone wants to know why nobody saw it coming.

Then the cameras leave. The headlines disappear. The political pressure diminishes. And eventually, the system returns to whatever level of staffing, funding and oversight existed before the crisis.

That's the part that concerns me.

The question isn't simply, “What are we going to do about this case?”

The question is, “What are we going to do to make sure this doesn't happen again five or 10 years from now?”

New Jersey's Division of Consumer Affairs currently administers 56 professional and occupational boards overseeing about 750,000 licensees. That's an enormous regulatory responsibility. Those boards need investigators, attorneys, inspectors, administrative personnel, technology and board members with the gumption for doing the job we're asking them to do.

Regulation doesn't happen simply because a statute exists. A regulatory board without backbone and adequate resources is a regulatory board in name only.

And that brings us to an issue that deserves far more public discussion: money.

Licensing fees, registration fees and other assessments generate substantial revenue within New Jersey's regulatory system. We should be asking a very simple question: Is enough of that money being reinvested into the system that generated it?

We can have all the laws and regulations in the world, but if there aren't enough investigators and attorneys to investigate complaints and prosecute violations, those laws don't mean very much.

I've heard complaints about cases involving the Mortuary Board remaining unresolved for extraordinarily long periods of time, years in some instances. I’ve witnessed draft regulations simply disappear into a vacuum of bureaucracy.

That is completely unacceptable.

Justice delayed isn't just unfair to the person who filed the complaint. It's also unfair to every ethical funeral professional who is following the rules.

New Jersey should be asking the same questions about its own regulatory system. Do our boards have the statutory authority, staffing, investigative resources and funding necessary to protect consumers? And when a complaint is filed, how long should a consumer reasonably have to wait for an answer?

Those aren't theoretical questions. They are questions that affect real people and, in our profession, people who are often at their most vulnerable.

So, who's responsible? I think responsibility exists at several levels.

Legislatures have to write statutes that actually protect the public. Regulatory agencies have to enforce those laws. They need adequate staffing and funding to do that. And licensed professionals or people who behave as such have to be held accountable when they violate the rules.

It's a system.

And when something as serious as the recent discoveries in Chicago happens, we need to examine the entire system, not just the individual standing at the center of the scandal.

That doesn't mean we need more regulation. It means we need better regulation.

We need the right laws. We need the authority to enforce them. And we need the resources to actually do it.

Chicago should investigate exactly what happened, determine who knew what and when, and hold the responsible people accountable. But then it needs to do something more difficult: build a regulatory system that can continue working after the television cameras are gone.

New Jersey should be asking itself the same questions now, rather than waiting for our own tragedy to force the conversation.

The worst thing we could do is solve today's headline and leave tomorrow's regulatory problem sitting there waiting for the next calamity.

What happened in Chicago should cause us to look beyond the individuals involved and examine whether our own regulatory systems have the authority, funding and personnel necessary to protect the public, not just when there's a crisis, but every day.

We shouldn't have to wait for a tragedy to discover that the people responsible for protecting the public don't have the authority, money, manpower or grit to do their jobs.

Samuel C. Arnold, President

Travel back in time with me. It’s August 1969, in rural Bassett, VA, and I am on my way to Virginia State University located just outside of Petersburg, VA.

My career path was clear because I always knew what I wanted in life. Reflecting back to 1960, I was inspired by John F. Kennedy’s presidential campaign, and I was also in awe of the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr’s nonviolent campaign. With clear intention, I was ready to step into college life, majoring in political science, and go to law school upon graduation. Afterwards, my plan was to get involved in politics.

What solidified my decision was when state Senator L. Douglas Wilder came to Virginia State University in 1972 and 1973 and taught a course on the Constitution and civil liberties. This was the defining point in my career. Just prior in December 1970, Orlando Perry had invited me to come to Newark, NJ, to stay with his pregnant wife/my sister while he went to bury his grandfather in Raleigh, NC.

When Orlando returned from the funeral, he asked me to come back to Newark and work with him during summer breaks, knowing that as a poor kid from rural Virginia with two other brothers in college at that same time, I needed money for college tuition because my family did not have much.

At that point in time, Orlando Perry strongly encouraged me to go to mortuary school first and get my funeral director’s license after which time he and my sister, Virginia Perry, would send me to Rutgers Law School.

Needless to say, law school never happened. However, my dream of being involved in the political arena was fulfilled because my first assignment at the Perry Funeral Home was to attend political functions and church anniversaries to promote the exceptional and compassionate care offered by Perry Funeral Home, as well as community outreach.

Even after becoming a funeral director, I never thought I would hold any higher office or especially one of this sort. What a compliment it was to get a call from Wilson Beebe, then the executive director of the New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association asking me to train my peers by conducting a class on Medicaid to the Essex, Union and West Hudson Funeral Directors Association.

I was indeed surprised and humbled, but I assumed the task expecting that in sharing solutions the outcome would be mutual growth. That was a goal achieved, that surprise venture curated a relationship which led Wilson to call me to be on the Trustee Board because Mr. Tyree Jones was retiring.

This eventually led to my presidency of the Essex, Union and West Hudson Funeral Directors Association. Later, I was appointed as a delegate, then second vice president, first vice president, recently president-elect and now President. Who would have ever thought or even guessed I would move up the ladder like this?

The day is here, however, and the goal during my tenure is to work to effect legislation and continuous progress for the funeral industry. Consequently, I intend to inspire and encourage the next generation of funeral directors to be all they can be.

Ultimately, we must all realize that they are our future. We must be relentless, pull together and move forward to make the association even greater than it is today. Like the chat made popular by former President Barack Obama, we must be “Fired Up! Ready to Go!”

Let’s face it, every funeral director likes to save money. That includes insurance.

At Thanexus Financial Services, LLC, we have been providing commercial and personal insurance solutions for more than 25 years, specializing in the unique insurance needs of funeral professionals. Over the years, many of you have been long-time, former and current clients. It is especially rewarding to see familiar names on our renewal list or welcome a former client back into our program.

Over the past nine months, we have added new funeral home clients while also bringing several former clients back. That tells us there is value in having insurance professionals who understand the funeral business and the exposures that come with it.

Our goal isn't simply to find the cheapest premium. It is to help you find the right coverage, the right insurance company and a competitive premium for your individual operation. Our professional insurance producers understand funeral home property, liability, auto, workers' compensation, umbrella, cyber, EPLI and the other coverages that are important to your business.

And maybe there is another way to look at it: If you are going to spend money on funeral home insurance anyway, why not reinvest some of those dollars in your own industry?

When you choose Thanexus Financial Services, LLC, you are working with insurance professionals who specialize in funeral homes and understand the industry we serve.

So, if you are approaching renewal, wondering if you are paying too much or simply thinking about remarketing your insurance program, give us a call or send me a text.

You might save some money. You might improve your coverage. And you might just decide that keeping your insurance business within the funeral profession makes a lot of sense.

After all, funeral directors should have funeral insurance professionals in their corner.

Do you have questions about your premium costs? Please contact one of our Thanexus Financial Services, LLC insurance agents at 888.483.5138 for more information or a personalized quote for your individual insurance needs. All funeral directors have access to insurance coverage. This is not a benefit limited to members of Thanexus, Inc.

Thanexus Financial Services, LLC is staffed by salaried, non-commissioned producers with no personal financial interest in your decisions regarding coverage. By using salary-based compensation, our agency force focuses on service rather than volume. Our staff members are licensed in New Jersey, as well as Connecticut, Florida, New York and Pennsylvania.

Thanexus, Inc. is a funeral service cooperative and economic development initiative of New Jersey Funeral Directors Services, Inc. For more information about joining Thanexus as a shareholder, contact our Agency Manager, Jonathan C. Krowicki, at 732.282.5117.