George R. Kelder Jr., CFSP, CEO/Executive Director
I recently engaged in a thought-provoking discussion with a member concerning the conspicuous absence of non-funeral director voices in the dialogue surrounding our profession–specifically our roles, the nature of death, mourning and the function of visitation and ceremony.
He astutely saw that non-licensed voices have dwindled, now almost silent, and while respected licensed professionals like Thomas Lynch, David McGowan, Caitlin Doughty and Glenda Stansbury, MA, CFSP, lend their insights, their messages inevitably resonate differently than those from individuals outside our licensed circle.
Historically, figures like the late Howard C. Raether, former executive director of the National Funeral Directors Association, have championed our cause. During the tumultuous reception of Jessica Mitford's critique in The American Way of Death, Raether was a steadfast advocate for funeral service, tirelessly promoting its virtues across the U.S. at various conferences on dying, death and bereavement. His efforts left a lasting impact on our profession, one that endures to this day.
Similarly, the late Rabbi Earle Grollman, a national authority on grief counseling, extended his ministry beyond his books to those mourning significant public tragedies, such as the 9/11 attacks and the Oklahoma City bombing. His appearances on platforms like “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” and “The Oprah Winfrey Show” helped demystify death and grief for a broad audience, fostering open discussions on what is often considered a taboo subject.
Dr. Alan Wolfelt, another beacon in this field, has made significant contributions as a grief counselor and author. His work, grounded in both personal loss and decades of professional support to bereaved families, underscores the profound impact of empathetic, informed communication about grief.
In the realm of theology and homiletics, Dr. Thomas Long also gained national prominence. His collaboration with poet/funeral director Thomas Lynch and later publications on the Christian approach to funerals have reached a wide audience, encouraging thoughtful engagement with funeral traditions.
While this list is by no means exhaustive, it underscores a critical gap: the emergence of new non-industry voices in our field. And it poses the question, how can we encourage a broader, more diverse dialogue to a new generation that both respects our traditions and opens new avenues for understanding and support in times of grief?
It's clear that we need fresh perspectives–voices that are neither directly involved in funeral service nor perceived as self-serving. Who will these voices be and how can we nurture a diverse dialogue that enriches everyone’s understanding and appreciation of the funeral?
As industry professionals, to cultivate a richer, more inclusive conversation about death and mourning, we must consider perspectives from all levels of society, including those indirectly connected to our field.
I invite you to share your thoughts on this matter. Who do you see as possible new non-licensed voices and influencers in the public discussion of death, funerals and the work we do?