George R. Kelder Jr., CFSP

Memorial Day has always occupied a strange place on the American calendar.

It arrives wrapped in sunshine, long weekends, shore traffic and backyard invitations. Retailers trumpet mattress sales with the same urgency they use for Presidents’ Day. Television commercials blur into one another with flags waving, burgers sizzling, pickup trucks racing down dusty roads until Memorial Day becomes little more than the unofficial starting gun for summer.

Somewhere along the way, we stopped remembering what the day was actually meant to be.

Memorial Day is not a celebration. It is not America’s birthday. It is not a festival. It is not a day designed for fireworks and spectacle. It is a national pause meant to honor the men and women who died in military service to this country, people who forfeited every future holiday, every family barbecue, every summer vacation, so the rest of us could continue enjoying ours.

That distinction matters.

There is nothing inherently wrong with gathering with friends or family. In fact, perhaps there is something beautifully American about spending time with those we love under the freedoms secured by others. But somewhere between the advertisements and the distractions, we have drifted dangerously close to forgetting the service and sacrifice beneath the surface.

Watch commercials and you will see endless reminders to shop. Buy appliances. Buy patio furniture. Buy cars. You will hear very little encouraging Americans to stop for even a moment of solemn reflection. There was a time when communities instinctively understood Memorial Day rituals–cemetery visits, parades with veterans, church bells, moments of silence, the quiet placement of flags on graves. Those traditions were not performative patriotism. They were collective acts of remembrance.

Today, remembrance often feels secondary to recreation.

Perhaps that is because genuine remembrance is uncomfortable. It forces us to confront the cost of freedom, not in abstract political slogans, but in names etched into marble, granite and bronze and photographs left on mantels. It reminds us that countless families received folded flags instead of reunions. It asks us to acknowledge that liberty has never been free, no matter how casually that phrase is tossed around.

And maybe that is why Memorial Day deserves more from us than simply treating it as another long weekend.

The irony is difficult to ignore. Americans will spend the day enjoying the very freedoms secured by those who never made it home, while many never once consider why the holiday exists in the first place. We have become extraordinarily skilled at commercialization and increasingly uncomfortable with reflection.

But Memorial Day should demand such reflection.

It should be acceptable, even expected, to lower the volume for a few hours. To explain to children why flags appear in cemeteries. To tell stories about relatives who served. To attend (or better yet, host) a local memorial ceremony instead of racing immediately toward the Shore. To recognize that gratitude is not weakness and remembrance is not outdated.

A barbecue may still happen. Laughter may still fill the backyard. Life should continue because that is precisely what those service members died protecting. But before the hamburgers hit the grill and before the coolers are opened, perhaps America could rediscover the simple dignity of pausing first.

Not for spectacle.

Not for sales.

Not for fireworks.

But for remembrance.

Because Memorial Day was never intended to celebrate war. It was intended to honor sacrifice.

And if we lose sight of that, then we risk turning one of the nation’s most sacred observances into just another Monday off from work.

Ryan Buckland, President

There is a particular kind of strength required to walk into a room where grief has taken up residence. It is not physical strength or intellectual dominance. It is something quieter and more deeply rooted.

It is the strength of a person who has looked honestly at what they are called to do and decided, sometimes against every impulse of self-doubt, that they are enough to do it. For the funeral service professional, that decision must be made daily, in the parking lot before a difficult arrangement conference, in the corridor before entering a chapel full of weeping strangers and in the silence after a long week when the weight of other people's sorrow has settled into the bones.

What sustains a funeral professional is not a productivity framework or an inspirational podcast. It is a deeply held conviction that the work matters, that the families being served deserve the very best of what one can offer and that one's own presence and compassion make a real difference in how a family survives the hardest day of their lives.

Motivation rooted in that conviction does not evaporate when the work is difficult. It deepens. It becomes the reason a professional arrives early, stays late and refuses to offer anything less than full attention to a family that has nowhere else to turn.

One of the most honest conversations the funeral service profession needs to have with itself is about the cost of the work. Compassion fatigue is real. The cumulative weight of walking alongside grief, day after day, without adequate space for one's own processing, takes a toll that is rarely visible to the outside world.

The funeral director who appears calm at every arrangement conference may be running on emotional reserves that are dangerously close to empty. Genuine self-belief, in this context, is not denial of that reality. It is the commitment that says, I know what this work costs me, and I am determined to care for myself so that I can continue to offer something worth giving.

That commitment looks different for every professional. For some it is prayer and sabbath rest. For others it is exercise, creative outlets or honest conversation with a trusted colleague who understands the particular pressures of this vocation.

What all these practices share is a refusal to treat oneself as expendable. A professional who does not believe they are worth sustaining will eventually have nothing left to offer the families who depend on them. Resilience in funeral service is not toughness. It is the wisdom to replenish what the work draws out, consistently and without apology, so that the next family through the door receives the same quality of care as the first.

Every funeral professional will face moments of doubt. A service that did not go as planned, a family that was not satisfied, a word said in the wrong moment that could not be taken back. The professional who allows those moments to become the defining narrative of who they are will eventually be paralyzed by the fear of repeating them. The professional who treats those moments as honest information about where growth is needed, without surrendering their fundamental belief in their own worth and calling, is the one who continues to improve and continues to show up fully for the people they serve.

The funeral service profession occupies a sacred space in the human community. It is not glamorous work, and it is not well understood by those who have never done it. It requires a rare combination of tenderness and steadiness, technical precision and emotional availability, professional composure and genuine humanity. Those who do it well are answering a call that most people are not equipped or willing to answer.

Believing in oneself in this profession is not arrogance. It is gratitude for the calling and an unshakeable commitment to honor it, because the families walking through the door on the hardest days of their lives deserve every ounce of what one has to give. And what one has to give, at its best, is more than enough.

As we head into summer, I originally thought this article would focus on seasonal safety tips surrounding beach trips, barbecues, fireworks and all the activities that come with this time of year. Instead, I wanted to take a moment to address something equally important to your business: timely insurance payments.

Summer is also a time when many of us become distracted from our normal day-to-day responsibilities. Among vacations, long weekends, family events and the overall pace of the season, it becomes easy for important notices, invoices and deadlines to get overlooked. Unfortunately, insurance carriers do not pause cancellation timelines simply because it is summer.

At our agency, we spend a significant amount of time following up on notices of cancellation, pending cancellations and reinstatement requests. While we are always happy to help our clients, these situations take time away from proactively servicing accounts and helping businesses manage risk.

More importantly, repeated late payments can create poor payment history with insurance carriers. That history matters. Carriers closely review cancellation activity, reinstatements and payment habits when evaluating accounts. In some cases, a carrier may decide not to renew coverage altogether. Once coverage is lost, returning to the same carrier is not always possible, and replacement coverage can often mean higher premiums, stricter terms, added fees or fewer coverage options.

Insurance billing has also changed. Many carriers now offer online portals, automatic payments, QR codes and mobile payment options directly on invoices and renewal paperwork. We even include QR codes with renewals whenever possible to make the process easier for our clients.

While traditional mail still has its place, relying solely on mailing checks can create timing and delivery issues. This is not a criticism of the postal service, but simply an observation based on what we have consistently experienced over the past year. Delays in mail delivery can quickly lead to late payments, cancellation notices and unnecessary stress.

As we move through the busy summer months, we encourage clients to review invoices promptly, take advantage of electronic payment options whenever possible and communicate with us early if there are billing concerns. A proactive step today can help avoid much larger issues tomorrow.

Have a safe and enjoyable summer.

Do you have questions about your premium costs? Please contact one of our Thanexus Financial Services, LLC insurance agents at 888.483.5138 for more information or a personalized quote for your individual insurance needs. All funeral directors have access to insurance coverage. This is not a benefit limited to members of Thanexus, Inc.

Thanexus Financial Services, LLC is staffed by salaried, non-commissioned producers with no personal financial interest in your decisions regarding coverage. By using salary-based compensation, our agency force focuses on service rather than volume. Our staff members are licensed in New Jersey, as well as Connecticut, Florida, New York and Pennsylvania.

Thanexus, Inc. is a funeral service cooperative and economic development initiative of New Jersey Funeral Directors Services, Inc. For more information about joining Thanexus as a shareholder, contact our Agency Manager, Jonathan C. Krowicki, at 732.282.5117.

A recent settlement in Delaware will allow a clergy person to provide Islamic burial services to decedents without first obtaining either a funeral director’s license or having a registered funeral home.

The settlement, reached in 2026 between Imam Mahmood Ahmad and the Delaware Board of Funeral Services, ends a federal First Amendment lawsuit filed in the state in 2024, claiming the imam was being discriminated against because of his faith. The agreement represents a dramatic shift in what has traditionally been the exclusive responsibility of funeral directors.

Key Takeaways

• Delaware settlement permits nonprofit Islamic burials without funeral director licensure or registered funeral home
• New Jersey’s new split licensure law likely shields funeral directors from similar First Amendment challenges
• NJSFDA-backed reforms allow for nonembalmer licensure while maintaining funeral service education and professional standards

The next logical question for New Jersey’s funeral service providers is obvious: What does it mean for us?

Thanks to a recent change in state law, championed by the New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association, the answer is not much.

The Delaware lawsuit hinged on state regulations demanding that funeral directors be able to perform embalmings as a requisite for licensing. Delaware state law requires that interns complete a minimum of 25 embalmings before being able to get a license. The imam, who observes strict Muslim traditions, believes embalming is a form of desecration of the body.

Because he could not be licensed, he was also denied access to the state’s online death registry and could not create death certificates. The Delaware chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union sued, claiming religious discrimination.

“The ACLU became involved because these regulations prevented Muslims, Orthodox Jews and others who do not embalm from practicing burial and funeral rites in accordance with their religion,” the ACLU said in an announcement of the settlement. “This led to exorbitant price-gouging and unnecessary complications around religious services that are protected by the First Amendment.”

The settlement stipulates that the imam can only provide nonprofit Islamic burial services “including the filing of all required deathcare paperwork–without obtaining a funeral director’s license or funeral establishment permit,” according to a press release from Billion Law, a Delaware firm that acted as co-counsel to the ACLU in the suit.

But it’s highly doubtful a similar suit could be filed in New Jersey because the state has a new path for licensure that does not include an embalming mandate.

The law creating that path, signed by then-Governor Phil Murphy in 2025, will introduce the title of “Practitioner of Mortuary and Embalming Science” while preserving the title of “Practitioner of Mortuary Science.” The two titles allow for new entrants into the industry who opt not to embalm due to religious, cultural or personal reasons to obtain licensure.

The New Jersey licensing law, however, preserved the requirements for education in all aspects of funeral service, including embalming. Students who decided to follow the nonembalming track would not have to perform embalmings in order to get a Practitioner of Mortuary Science license.

“We believe that this new law neither diminishes licensure requirements nor lowers academic standards,” NJSFDA Executive Director and CEO George R. Kelder Jr., CFSP, said in his annual state of the industry address in 2025. “Instead, it reflects a pragmatic approach to modernizing the law while upholding the values and standards of the funeral profession in New Jersey.”

As a result of the new law, there is a nondiscriminatory path toward licensure that does not include embalming. But because Delaware has opted to not have split licensure, the state was left vulnerable to the First Amendment challenge.

New Jersey, through the efforts of the NJSFDA, now avoids that risk.

The deadline for submitting an application for a New Jersey Funeral Service Education Corporation scholarship is approaching.

Eligible New Jersey funeral service education program students are encouraged to apply before June 30, 2026. The NJFSEC offers up to $7,500 in scholarships annually to New Jersey resident funeral service education program students. Students must be enrolled in an American Board of Funeral Service Education accredited funeral service education program.

Complete applications must be emailed to scholarships@njsfda.org by the deadline.

Those interested in the scholarship should download and submit a complete NJFSEC 2026 Scholarship Application. Scholarship applicants continuing or beginning their funeral service education program studies during the fall of 2026 are eligible to apply for this year’s scholarship.

All applicants must:

• Be a New Jersey resident who intends to become a New Jersey licensed funeral director
• Be currently registered as an intern with the New Jersey State Board of Mortuary Science
• Be registered in or attending a funeral service education program accredited by the ABFSE for the fall 2026 semester
• Maintain a 3.0 grade point average on a scale of 4.0 in college/university programs. (Individuals who attended more than one college/university must have a combined average for all institutions of 3.0)
• Submit a completed application and all corresponding materials by the application deadline. Incomplete, late and/or handwritten applications will not be considered
• Participate in an in-person interview

Those of you who know a student in need of a scholarship should urge them to apply. More information on eligibility and the application process can be found  here.

In-person interviews are scheduled for Tuesday, July 21. The final selection of scholarship recipients will be notified by email.

Scholarship recipients must attend the New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association General Session, held during the 2026 Funeral Directors Convention and Expo in Atlantic City. The date of the General Session is Wednesday, September 16, 2026.

NJFSEC has awarded scholarships to funeral service education program students for nearly two decades.

Disclosure: Scholarships are awarded at the discretion of the NJFSEC. Awards are based on completed applications. The decision of the NJFSEC is final. The NJFSEC reserves the right not to make an award if applicants do not meet scholarship standards. The NJFSEC also reserves the right to split awards.

The NJFSEC treats scholarship applicants without regard to race, creed, sex, age, color, national origin or ancestry, religion, disability or handicap, affectional or sexual orientation, marital status or NJSFDA member or non-member affiliation.

One of the great advantages of attending the 2026 Funeral Directors Convention and Expo in Atlantic City is the opportunity to nurture existing relationships and make new friends during the Convention’s many social events.

This year, the New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association is even more dedicated to helping you form connections and broaden the community you need to make your business as successful and profitable as possible during the event, held this year at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Atlantic City from September 15 to September 17.

From browsing the Exhibit Hall to cheering on funeral service program students competing in the popular Mortuary School Olympics, there will be plenty of time to shake hands, catch up and get acquainted with your fellow Convention attendees.

What’s in It for You?

Those connections you make can help you refine your business offerings, provide you with the latest products to streamline your workflow and introduce you to new technologies that can save you time. And, as every business leader knows, time is money.

In addition, you may meet promising new industry leaders who can help your business and personal interactions with new perspectives. In short, you can grow–personally, professionally and financially.

So here are some of the events during which you can meet, greet and enjoy the company of those who share your desire to see the funeral profession be the best it can be.

General Session

On Wednesday, September 16 at 10:45 a.m., the NJSFDA will hold its annual business meeting, featuring the installation of the new association President, Samuel C. Arnold. Also, NJSFDA Executive Director and CEO George R. Kelder Jr., CFSP, will deliver his annual state of the industry remarks, featuring the highlights of a busy year for the association. Members who are not registered for the Convention may request a badge to attend the General Session at no charge. 

Exhibit Hall Opening Reception

Join your colleagues for the opening of the Exhibit Hall at 4:00 p.m. Wednesday, September 16 in the Etess Area. This is an opportunity to take a first look at the products and services offered by our exhibitors and see what is trending in the industry. Light hors d’oeuvres will be served along with open bars scattered throughout the Exhibit Hall.

Convention Party

Always a highlight, the annual Convention party this year will feature Dexter Allgood with his R&B band providing strong vibes and soulful live music from 9:00 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. on Wednesday, September 16 at The Balcony at Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. Come for the music and enjoy cocktails and hors d’oeuvres while reconnecting with old acquaintances and developing new friendships. Separate ticket purchase and ID required.

Service of Remembrance

Join us in the Brighton Ballroom at 10:45 a.m. Thursday, September 17 as we remember NJSFDA members who have died this past year. Everyone is welcome to attend this personalized commemorative event to share memories with families and friends. Anyone not registered for the Convention may request a badge to attend the Service of Remembrance at no charge. Don’t miss this opportunity to honor the community of which you are a vital part.

Mortuary School Olympics

Back with new challenges this year, watch as students from American Academy McAllister Institute, Eastwick College and Mercer County Community College compete in funeral service assignments, trivia games and physical challenges for a chance to be recognized as “champions” of the Mortuary School Olympics, held in the Brighton Ballroom at 5:30 p.m. Thursday, September 17. Cheer on these future funeral service professionals and make sure to greet those who will be future industry leaders.

The Last Call

Taking the place of the Funeral Directors Round-Up in 2026 is The Last Call, offered at the conclusion of Convention for everyone to wrap up the event, say goodbye and promise to take the next step in building lasting relationships for your business and professional life. This event will be held at 6:30 p.m. Thursday, September 17 at the Center Bar at Hard Rock Cafe.

In addition to these formal events, coffee and refreshments will be available in Fort Pierce B on September 16 and September 17, providing even more opportunities for conversation.

Mark Your Calendars!

By attending the Convention, the benefits, as well as the advantages they provide, are yours. Investing in your business through attending from September 15 to September 17, 2026, could realize a significant return in both your professional advancement and bottom line.

Stay tuned to The FORUM and your email for more details on this important event.

We’ll see you at the Hard Rock!