What We Learned Last Year (Even if We Pretend, We Didn’t)

What We Learned Last Year (Even if We Pretend, We Didn’t)

George Kelder
George R. Kelder Jr., CFSP

If there’s one thing last year made abundantly clear, it’s this: Ignoring reality does not slow it down. It just ensures we’re unprepared when it arrives.

We learned that change doesn’t always come with a warning label or a polite explanation. Sometimes it shows up in the form of new laws, new licensees, new expectations from families and new conversations that make people uncomfortable. And instead of asking why those changes are happening, too many of us often jump straight to why we don’t like them. Which, to be fair, is faster than learning something new; it’s just not nearly as productive.

That response may be human, but it’s not particularly helpful.

Last year also reminded us that hearing only part of the story is a dangerous habit. When information is incomplete, reactions tend to be loud, emotional and confidently wrong. We saw it play out repeatedly when concerns were raised before details were understood and conclusions were drawn before questions were asked, with frustration aimed in every direction except the one that might actually solve the problem.

We learned that transparency works both ways. Leadership has an obligation to communicate clearly, but members also have an obligation to listen–not selectively, not impatiently and not with the sole purpose of confirming what they already believe. Listening to understand is different from listening to react, even if the two get confused.

Mortuary Board • January 2026

Mortuary Board • January 2026

The Week in Funeral News, January 6, 2026

The Week in Funeral News, January 6, 2026

Suspected Drug Overdose Deaths Plunge in NJ

Suspected Drug Overdose Deaths Plunge in NJ

What We Learned Last Year (Even if We Pretend, We Didn’t)

What We Learned Last Year (Even if We Pretend, We Didn’t)

A Chance to Start Again

A Chance to Start Again

National Cemetery Scheduling Office Eliminates Saturday Hours

National Cemetery Scheduling Office Eliminates Saturday Hours

Published December 31, 2025

The Week in Funeral News, December 30, 2025

The Week in Funeral News, December 30, 2025

Published December 30, 2025

Survey Shows Technology Concerns Dog Funeral Homes

Survey Shows Technology Concerns Dog Funeral Homes

Published December 24, 2025

NJSFDA Members Can Get Discount to Attend 2026 NOR Conference

NJSFDA Members Can Get Discount to Attend 2026 NOR Conference

Published December 24, 2025

Judge Accepts Plea Deal in Colorado Funeral Home Case

Judge Accepts Plea Deal in Colorado Funeral Home Case

Published December 23, 2025

Regulations Are Limiting Cremation Capacity in Washington State

Regulations Are Limiting Cremation Capacity in Washington State

Published December 23, 2025

Thanexus Inc
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Ask the Manager

The NJSFDA Manager of the Day program provides members with a resource for addressing and resolving problems that arise in the daily operations of their funeral homes. Here are some matters that were brought to the attention of the Manager of the Day in recent months.

Information on Using a State Owned and Issued Insurance Policy

How can a funeral home get paid using a New Jersey Department of the Treasury, Division of Pensions and Benefits State Owned and Issued Insurance Policy?

Read the answer

Right to Control and Incarcerated Next of Kin

I have a case where the decedent is survived by two adult children, but one of them is serving a life sentence in prison. Does he still share right to control? Or can I bypass him and deal just with his sister?

Read the answer

Can a Non-Resident Veteran Be Interred at Arneytown?

We are handling arrangements for a decedent who was a veteran but not a resident of New Jersey. Is he able to be buried in the Brigadier General William C. Doyle cemetery in Arneytown?

Read the answer
Abigal